How to Cheat the Cheka is the second episode from the third season of The Pussycats.
Being on holiday, Team Pussycat stops certain KGB spies using a simple but effective trap.
The Russian Communist Party is being urged by Cuba, Venezuela and other socialist "powers" in Latin America to aid them "in the struggle against the capitalist presence". Their representatives claim that financial aid and weapons do not fulfill the local proletariat's needs, especially since the latter is LACKING qualified manpower. The Vyerkhushka agrees to deploy Dolt-on-Istov to Puerto Rico as the only available member with the possible skills of a socialist advisor.
Having reached the destination point, Doltie meets with Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, who have been relocated there without Doltie's knowledge as support for him. Their task is to infiltrate a local society and examine the possibilities of hurling a socialist revolution. Their hosts from the Latin American socialist parties are more than happy to handle their guests from Moscow, especially since the latter also wear mustaches, just like the local fashion. Dolt-on-Istov initially complains that there is no vodka around until the hosts head him to a local liquor shop, where they do have plenty of Rasputin Vodka in stock.
The first attempt at starting the revolution in Puerto Rico is carried out by the local proletarians mimicking Yehovah Witnesses - they bother tourists at the beach and try giving them free copies of "Das Kapital" and "The Communist Manifesto", often in languages not matching the recipients' mother tongues. Boris, Natasha, and Doltie are supervising this process, which explains the mess.
Most of the tourists simply try ignoring the "Marxova Witnesses" until they attempt to push copies of their propaganda to the Pussycat Twins and Stanisław Zaleski resting at the beach - Stan takes a copy of "The Communist Manifesto" in Spanish he was given by the socialists and he admits that the leftist red tape makes good toilet paper. Following Stan's advice, the tourists start using "the gifts from the revolutionaries" as suggested - they take their copies of "Das Kapital" and "The Communist Manifesto" to the toilets and come back without those books. When the Latin American branch of the Comintern runs out of paper for printing, it is a sign the plan failed.
The Proletarians change their tactics by organizing a poster-spreading campaign - banners and posters with their ideas are covering the area on every possible surface. A tropical storm strikes the area, hopefully without casualties and only tearing the propaganda banners from the walls. The only effects the Comintern achieved with those posters are environmental pollution and increased printing costs, which mean another failure.
Doltie suggests taking over the local radio station and television studio, so the messages could reach a wider audience. The plan goes smoothly - the leftists led by the Moscovians enter the radio station and take it over without any opposition since nobody else is inside. They broadcast the messages to rise, yet nothing happens. It turns out they took over an abandoned building of the local radio with outdated machinery. When they attempt to repeat the process at the TV station, they get repelled by the guards.
The siesta term comes at the local proletarians make a break, much to Moscovians' dismay. They change their mind when Doltie starts suffering from the heat he is not accustomed to. Boris and Natasha also feel the effects of tropical weather and they contact Moscow for backup. Sindri Bisitsokoshkha unwillingly agrees to deploy Boris Smyersh and Meowrice Beaucoup as an additional backup.
Team Pussycat has been observing the Proletarians and all their attempts in performing the revolution in Puerto Rico, they develop a plan for stopping them.
The next day the authorities in Puerto Rico issue a ban for all the alcohol imported from Russia, which strikes the local leftist societies and their guests. Boris Smyersh and Meowrice Beaucoup arrive from Moscow only to encounter the inconvenience, not being warned by the Vyerkhuskha. While suffering from thirst, the proletarians spot a bar near a public swimming pool, filled with full whiskey bottles. The thirst bothers them that badly that they forget about their hatred towards anything American and they rush towards the bar.
Before the proletarians can reach "the pindostani hooch", they are surrounded by Stan and the Pussycats armed with Tec-9 submachine guns and the local Police backing them up. It turns out, that the bar stand with whiskey was built on purpouse to snatch the Comintern members.
The episode ends with the members of the caught Comintern being exchanged for American tourists caught in Russia.
- Boris Badenov
- Natasha Fatale
- Sindri Bisitsokoshkha
- Meowrice Beaucoup
- Boris Smyersh
- the local leftist society
The term "Cheka" refers to WChK - the name of the Soviet secret police between 1918 and 1922. Despite the name was officially changed, the term "Chekist" exists till nowadays, meaning a member of the Soviet secret police.