Dolt-on-Istov

Dolt-on-Istov
Knave of the Proletariat
Gender	Male
Species	Human
Nationality	Russian (communist)
Alignment	Neutral Evil (seen performing both Lawful Evil and Chaotic Evil deeds in one episode)
Friends	Paskudnikov, Igor Tolstyi, Olga Salotchkinaya, Sindri Bisitsokoshkha
Enemies	All the Team Pussycat members
Skills	Firearms (only Russian ones), melee weapons (fists, crowbar and broken bottle), distilling, driving a car (poor skills), annoying people

Dimitri Averellevych Dolt-on-Istov (called "Doltie" or "Moronistov", depends on who is talking) is a Russian communist from Moscow and regular antagonist of the Team Pussycat created by TeeJay87.

Background

Doltie comes from a family of outlaws, who were notorious of robbing banks in the entire Old West - the Daltons. His great-grandfather, Averell Dalton, was the only one, who survived the final gunslinger duel with Lucky Luke, which happened in Anchorage in 1899. While Joe, William, and Jack were shot stone dead, Averell miraculously managed to escape westwards to Vladivostok in Siberia, where he married a Russian woman named Tatyana Sidorovnaya and switched his surname to "Dolt-on-Istov".

Averell had a son - Averell Averellyevych Dolt-on-Istov, born in 1900, who joined the Bolsheviks in 1917 and quickly gained the reputation of a loyal, but not much -skilled member of the Russian communist party. Averell Averellyevych did denounce his father and mother to NKVD in 1937, officially due to "betrayal of the socialist ideas and plotting with the fascists against the communist paradise"; the truth was that Averell and his wife Tatyana did criticize their only child for his immoral conduct as NKVD political officer. The denunciation led both to their early grave in the Siberian GULAG near Irkutsk.

Politruk (1st Lieutenant in the NKVD corps) Averell Averellyevych Dolt-on-Istov died in January 1940 in the Finnish-Soviet War near Viipuri, when a Finnish sniper shot him stone dead in the forehead. The irony was that Averellyevych died from a round shot from a Russian Mosin rifle. Before his death, Averell's son managed to leave a progenitor Averell Averellevych Dolt-on-Istov II (born in 1924), who managed to participate in World War II, drafted to the Red Army in 1942. He made a career in the Red Army, serving up from a private to a 1st Lieutenant rank in 1967. Averell Averellevych II's career was interrupted rapidly in March 1968, when he was taking part in choking the uprising in Czechoslovakia - a petrol bomb thrown by a Czech insurgent exploded on Averell's face, burning it to the bone. Despite attempts of administering him medical aid, Subaltern Dolt-on-Istov died before the Prague Spring was crushed by the Warsaw Pact.

Dimitri Averellevych Dolt-on-Istov was born a couple of years before his father's death - he has been desiring to serve the communist motherland just like his father and grandfather did (they never told him about his great-grandfather nor the further ancestors), thus he did join the Soviet Army to protect the communist paradise known as The Warsaw Pact from "those filthy Western imperialists".

Personality

Dimitri is a model example, how does a totalitarian state corrupt the minds of young people - by weeding out individual thinking and adjusting the minds to obey the system.

As it can be expected, Doltie is certain that his Soviet/Russian homeland is the communist paradise on Earth and any non-communist country is an adversary, which has to be either conquered by all the possible means or wiped out from the surface of the Earth. He was taught, both at home and schools, that Russian communists are the master race and anyone else is either material for slave or an enemy deserving to be destroyed. This mindset does affect Doltie's attitude in a negative way - every time he approaches non-Russians, he does behave in quite a nonchalant way.

Averellevych does feel an exceptionally strong contempt towards two nations:

• Americans - Doltie envies those "bourgeoisie blood-drinkers from Washington" the wealth his homeland could achieve if not the corruption within the Moscovian administration;
• Poles - just like the majority of Russian communists, Doltie considers the Polish people as "Slavic people, who do not know their place in the row" - in other words, as inferior to his nation.

He normally approaches people from those two nations by openly demonstrating rough despise aimed at them. Doltie's favorite means of showing off bad conduct are the following:

• accusing a citizen of the United States of supporting Barack Obama (who is disdained in Russia), even towards those, who identify themselves with the Republican Party;
• drinking alcohol in public, especially his favorite Rasputin Vodka;
• calling people from different nations derogatory Russian terms aimed at those people;
• disturbing religious people in churches during the masses - by citing exempts from "Das Kapital", "The Communist Manifesto" and similar anti-theist propaganda against the teachings;
• driving cars after consuming large amounts of strong alcohol.

Just like 85% of Russians, Dolt-on-Istov also detests LGBT people by reporting them to the Fourth Department of FSB (Moscovian equivalent of the Police vice squad in more civilized countries) when detected, then he serves as support prosecutor against those individuals. According to the data held by the KGB/FSB, Doltie has reported to the 4th FSB Department approximately five thousand LGBT people since the 1970s, who were punished "for the Purpose of Protecting Children from Information Advocating for a Denial of Traditional Family Values" as the Soviet and Russian penal codes state. Dimitri got his Hero of the Soviet Union and Hero of the Russian Federation medals for his contributions to the gay propaganda law enforcement in Moscow.

Skills

Combat skills

Being a member of the Russian Army, Dolt-on-Istov has undergone their firearm training. He is capable of wielding AK-47/AKM/AK-74 rifles, as well as their derivatives:

• AKSU-74 submachinegun
• RPK light machine gun and PK general purpose machine gun
• SVD sniper rifle.

Doltie did complete the firearm course, though he does have trouble in handling bigger guns such as the SG-43, DShK, NSV, and KPV heavy machineguns and using Western firearms is beyond his skills.

Averellevych has also undergone the basic explosives training in the Soviet Army - he knows the following:

• how to throw a grenade, on the condition the grenade has a stick attached (he does not know, how to use American hand grenades since those do not have a stick);
• the way of using RPG-7 and RPG-18 anti-tank missile launchers and only those two types (even despite American LAW-72 and M47 Dragon have the same mechanisms);
• how to disarm a landmine by throwing rocks at it from a safe distance.

On more than several occasions, Dimitri had to fight hand-to-hand - he performs quite well when wielding a crowbar, baseball bat or a bayonet/knife, though his weapon of choice is a broken bottle after vodka. When fighting with fists, he performs worse than Stan or Ian do, though any member of Team Pussycat might defeat Doltie in boxing without trouble.

Non-combat skills

Dolt-on-Istov learned the art of distilling alcohol early in his life - he did make attempts of obtaining ethanol and methanol from various ingredients, not necessarily edible ones. Still, his favorite brand of "the fiery water" is Rasputin Vodka.

Despite owning a driver's license, Doltie is rather poorly skilled driver when compared to Team Pussycat members - every time he has to drive a car, he always comes back to his lines with severe damages and the car is often in such poor condition it can only be scrapped.

Relationships

His family

Dolt-on-Istov does respect his deceased father and grandfather - those are the only known members of his family he is proud of. Rumors say he does have a concubine or two, who gave him children, though only the KGB knows the exact data.

Members of the Russian Communist Party

Until his promotion to a Sergeant rank, Doltie was merely obeying orders of his commanders. Nowadays, he keeps an upper-mediocre rank of the Second Lieutenant in the Russian Army, though his position in the Russian Communist Party has been ascertained by making a pact with Sindri the Demonspawn:

• Dolt-on-Istov and Silly Vassily were rivals as non-commissioned officers - despite they did not show their sentiments in public, they drank alcohol together only once and it was interrupted, when Imbetsyliev tried to prove the superiority of Trotskyism to Stalinism Dolte has been following (as well as the 99% of Russian communists do). The relationship evolved into hatred when Silly Vassily was exiled from Russia for his attitudes offending the proletarian tradition.
• Dimitri was quick to learn about Boris Badenov, Natasha Fatale, Igor Tolstyi, Olga Salotchkinaya, and Paskudnikov after his promotion to the non-commissioned officer rank;
• Doltie's career has been hasted after he made a pact with Sindri Bisitsokoshkha - he did trade his soul to Behemoth's daughter for a quick promotion to a commissioned officer rank and an infinite amount of Rasputin Vodka supply. Sindri was planning to take Dolt-on-Istov's soul to hell quickly after his promotion, but she found something intriguing in him that caused her to keep him alive. Currently, Averellevych remains Sindri's loyal thrall and one of her contacts in the world of mortals. She is benefiting more than Doltie, but as long as the latter maintains a CO rank and the Decanter of an Endless Moonshine, there are no complaints about the pact.

Team Pussycat

As it was stated above, Dolt-on-Istov does detest Americans and Poles. Since the Team Pussycat is composed mostly of the aforesaid nations' representatives, it is not surprising he does approach them with open hostility. "The two-national feline capitalist [CENSORED]" return him the favor by calling him "Moronistov" (Delilah and Kitty developed this matching nickname), "kacap" (a derogatory term in Polish referring to Russians) or more blunt terms when the situation is dense.

Gallery

All the images below have been drawn by Dolt-on-Istov's creator - TeeJay87.

The original design for Doltie - from 2014.

The Red Troubadour.

A date outside the Iron Curtain.

Living proof that smoking is bad to health.

A trip to Bardstown, Kentucky - did not end well.

Proletariat goes under the water.

Perhaps not wise, but very socialist nonetheless.

Too stubborn to accept friendly advise.

If you can't defeat "the capitalists" in combat, present them poisoned alcohol.

Dolt-on-Istov in "The Space Mouser" episode.

In "Space Mouser II: Vengeance of the Space Mousers" episode.

With Paskudnikov and Sindri.

From the Rabbit Rumpus episode.

From Dolt-on-Ism: Je Suis Doltie episode.

In "How to Cheat the Cheka" episode.

In "Dolt-on-Ism: Doltie of Arabia" episode.