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Dolt-on-Ism: Mail Order Dolt is the fifth episode from the second season of The Pussycats.


Dolt-on-Istov travels outside the Iron Curtain to find a date.


The Vyerkhuska in Moscow has developed a new plan of infiltrating Western society, called "Operation Casanova" - by sending agents, who would seduce people. Dolt-on-Istov is selected as a candidate for such a mission and is sent abroad to the United States, given orders to seduce women and obtain data from them.

Having reached New York, Doltie begins his quest from visiting the first off-license store he spots. Much to his dismay, he discovers that they sell beer, wine, whiskey, and some other alcohols, but not Russian vodka.  He buys a bottle of 95% ethanol and keeps continuing his quest. Sindri Bisitsokoshkha reminds him through the radio about his task.

Most of the women in New York avoid Dolt-on-Istov, finding him abhorrent. Dimitri signs up for a blind date program and wins a meeting with Jean Wellall - a female scientist writing a university degree work about Russian communists. She hopes to fulfill her research with first-hand experiences with a subject of her degree work, while Dimitri believes that a woman wiser than him would appease his superiors in Moscow as a source of information. Sindri is feeling jealous about "the American hanging with Doltie", though her superiors remind her, that his mission requires such contacts.

The date goes quite well until Doltie and his newly-met girlfriend attend a bar. Instead of buying Jean a drink, Doltie empties a bottle of ethanol himself. The research doesn't help Ms. Wellall in her project, as Doltie keeps trying to woo the scientist and she realizes she will not obtain as much data as she expected. The date comes to an end when Dimitri excuses his selfishness with his socialist attitude, which makes his date abandon him.

"The Red Casanova" is being observed by Team Pussycat. They witness Doltie's conduct in the bar and the way he splits up with his newly-met girlfriend. The Pussycat Twins offer Jean the data she needs for her research in exchange for sharing her experiences with Dolt-On-Istov. Doltie's ex willingly agrees, asking team Pussycat for a vendetta upon Doltie.

Dimitri notices a club for singles being advertized and he heads there, hoping to find someone else there. While ordering a drink at the bar, the bartender leads Doltie to an isolated area inside the club. Averellyevych goes there, right into Team Pussycat's ambush - Stan knocks him out with a fist and the Pussycat Twins backup him. They find in Doltie's pockets a sheet with orders from the Vyerkhuskha.

Dolt-on-Istov wakes up in a cell, being interrogated by the CIA about his spy mission. His initial resistance is broken, when Doltie receives a bottle of 95% strong ethanol, which makes him reveal all the plans he was familiarized with back in Moscow. The CIA officer supervising Doltie's interrogation admits, that the KGB has created an exceptionally silly plan. At the same time, Stan helps Ms. Wellall in completing her research about Russian communists.

Dimitri is exchanged for thirty political prisoners held by Kremlin's command. When he returns to Moscow, it turns out, that other spies sent by the Vyerkhuskha failed to complete the "Operation Casanova" as well:

  • Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale were too jealous of each other to achieve success;
  • Paskudnikov kept pressing his dates on playing "Little Red Riding Hood" and it also wound up with a failure;
  • Igor Tolstyi was too crude in his attempts of wooing females;
  • Olga Salotchkinaya performed the same mistake as Igor when trying to date males;
  • last but not least, Sindri spent more time supervising the lower-ranked henchmen rather than directly participating in the operation.

Back in the more civilized world, Jean Wellall manages to reach a doctoral university degree for her work about European communists, written with the help of Stan and the Pussycat Twins.


Team Pussycat

The Comintern


  • Jean Wellall


  • The episode's name is a pun to the term "Mail order bride" - a woman, who lists herself in catalogs and is selected by a man for marriage.
  • Jean Wellall is a reference to the famous primatologist, Jane Goodall.
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