Dolt-on-Ism: Doltie of Arabia

Dolt-on-Ism: Doltie of Arabia is the fourth episode from the third season of The Pussycats.

Summary

When the Californian government announces the submission cult as their state religion, Dolt-on-Istov is sent with a spy mission only to encounter Team Pussycat members.

Plot

The Californian government announces the submission cult as their state religion, forcing Christians and Jews to leave. The mess caused by this policy causes Moscow's interests in this matter. The Vyerkhuska in Moscow deploys Dolt-On-Istov to examine the current situation there. Doltie is chosen due to his American roots, supposedly allowing him to walk amongst the locals without too much suspicion.

Not only the Russian Communist Party is looking into the rumpus in the Western Coast. Team Pussycat assigns The Bennett Triplets and Foo Foo to investigate the area. Being Persian breed cats, they look convincing in Levantine outfits as travelers from the Middle East. Gwen, Lola, and Foo Foo walk amongst the Californians and the locals consider them as people from the Levant. Doltie appears in the Californian Bay region dressed in his staple summer outfit, composed of gray Adidas pants, red Adidas vest, a purple jacket, and felt boots.

Both Doltie and Team Pussycat start their investigations from Pacific Beach, CA. the Bennetts manage to find out, that the local government has indeed taken all the local government to the submission cult, except alcoholic beverages and drugs.

Doltie is focused on searching for his favourite alcohol and he discovers, that the off-licences in the area do not have Rasputin Vodka in stock, only beer, whiskey, wines, and some other beverages Dimitri is not fond of. Having visited more than ten "liquor stores" in the area without success. When Sindri Bisitsokoshkha calls him through the radio, Doltie reports that he checked more than fifty off-license shops and none of those has the fuel of the proletariat available. Sindri directs Doltie to investigate the Pacific Beach area and Dimitri heads there.

The Bennetts spot Dolt-on-Istov walking around the beach and asking people, if they have Rasputin Vodka. Gwendolyn recognizes Doltie after his facial features and traits they were told by Stanisław Zaleski before heading to the mission. Lola admits that Doltie looks sillier than Stan described him. Averellyevych also spots the Bennetts and believes they are strangers from the Levant. He stops them and asks if they have arak with themselves since he cannot find his beverage of choice, complaining about the local market. Gwendolyn tells Doltie, that they have arak in their quarters.

The Bennetts lead Doltie to the hotel room they hired as their temporary quarters, promising him a bottle of arak as a gift for him. Inside the hotel room, Lola gives Doltie a bottle of liquid labeled as "Arak". Doltie opens the bottle, sniffs it, empties the bottle with a single gulp and immediately falls asleep. Gwen admits that the sleeping potion brewed by Callista Briggs indeed works even on such drunkards like Doltie.

While examining unconscious Dolt-on-istov, the Bennetts find a portable radio with Russian markings. Suddenly, the transmission is being received and they hear Russian female voice, apparently calling Doltie. It is Sindri, who has called Doltie for a regular report. Gwendolyn manages to write down the heard words on paper, despite not understanding them. Once Sindri ends the transmission, the Bennetts contact Team Pussycat to arrive.

The Pussycat Twins and Stan arrive by a helicopter handled by Delilah, Kitty, and Ian. Gwendolyn handles Stan the text she wrote when Sindri tried to contact unconscious Doltie and Stan recognizes the message as a mixture of slurs and futile attempts in focusing Doltie's attention.

Meanwhile, in Moscow, Sindri is worried that Dolt-on-Istov is not responding. She attempts to contact her agent in California again. The radio taken by Team Pussycat is receiving transmission and Penelope recognizes Sindri's voice, who is asking Doltie in Russian to respond. Mona grabs the Holy Bible and reads aloud in English The Saint Luke's Evangelion chapter about the temptation of Jesus Christ in the desert. Sindri gets a heart attack and she turns off the radio. Once the Behemoth's daughter recovers, she realizes that Doltie has been defeated. The second time she attempts to use the radio, Stan intercepts the transmission and signs religious songs in his mother tongue, which brings Sindri a second heart attack. Vlondril Bisitsokoshkha suggests Sindri not to try the third time, yet Sindri does so and she hears Penelope Pussycat leading the gospel choir composed of Team Pussycat members. The third heart attack causes Sindri unconscious.

With Doltie and Sindri down, the Comintern has to admit the mission failed. Team Pussycat manages to reach the source of the California rumpus. The Californian government invites the Bennetts, being certain they are representatives of the submission cult. The rest of the team Pussycat also sneaks there as a backup. The Californian governor begins greeting his "guests from levant" with a request if they have something to drink because he already managed to empty his Napa Valley wine stock. Lola gives the governor another prepared "arak" bottle.

Coming soon.

Characters

The Comintern

• Dolt-on-Istov
• Sindri Bisitsokoshkha
• Vlondril Bisitsokoshkha (minor)
• the Californian government

Team Pussycat

• The Bennett Triplets
• Penelope Pussycat (minor)
• Mona Pussycat (minor)
• Stanisław Zaleski (minor)
• Delilah Pussycat (minor)
• Kitty diVono (minor)
• Ian Zaleski (minor)
• Foo Foo
• Callista Briggs (mentioned only)

Trivia

Coming soon.