Dial "D" For Drunkard

Dial "D" For Drunkard is the eighth episode from the first season of The Pussycats.

Summary

The Proletarians open a car workshop in Garfield's home town.

Plot

After watching "Fast 'N Loud" from the satellite, Vlondril Bisitsokoshkha conceives an idea, how to use American capitalist ideas against the Americans. With Vyerkhuskha's approval, Vlondril orders Sindri Bisitsokoshkha and her mortal knaves to establish an illegal car workshop in Garfield's home town and make it drain money from the locals.

Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale find a cheap real estate in Garfield's home town with enough space and buildings to be used as a garage. Having bought it, the Proletarians convert the buildings for the task and start their business. Dolt-on-Istov is appointed the position of the master mechanic, Paskudnikov and Igor Tolstyi are working with him, Boris and Natasha spy the rivals and Sindri supervises them. They place a banner with a chimpanzee wearing che Guevara's fuzzy beard and beret with a Soviet star, naming their business "The @$$ Monkey Garage".

Soon they have their first customer in a desperate need for having his car repaired. It turns out that the engine is worn out and requires replacement. Sindri takes 200 USD as a deposit for repairs and promises the customer his car being ready for tomorrow. Doltie builds a replacement vodka-fed engine using various parts Boris and Natasha found in a nearby junkyard. After a couple of attempts, the engine is made compact enough to be fit inside a typical civilian car.

The next day the car's owner comes back for his car and is presented with his vehicle. The car's owner complains about the engine's sluggish performance since it's fed on vodka, the noise it makes and the stench of rotten potatoes coming out from the car's hood. His claims to have his money back are refuted with AK-47 rifles pointing at him and Doltie claiming, that he has built a socialist masterpiece. The car's owner pays another 200 USD and leaves the workshop with his car and utter disgust.

Not much later on, Jon Arbuckle needs to have a yearly maintenance review made for his car. Being in a hurry, he leaves his car at the Proletarians' garage, asking them to repair any breakdowns they find. Attracted by the red colour of Jon's car, Sindri states that the vehicle should undergo "necessary improvements to represent the vehicle of the working class". Doltie and the remaining fans of Soviet socialism are given the task to refurnish Jon's car as Sindri ordered.

Leftover scrap-metal pieces are used to rebuild Jon's car into a vehicle resembling orkish wagons from Warhammer universe rather than a typical civilian car - it gets steel plates and huge spikes welded to the front bumpers, the hood, the doors, and the car's roof. The latter also has a hatch cut in the top, supplemented by a cupola with a machine-gun mount. The reworked car is finished with red stars and other socialist emblems painted on the doors and the hood.

When Jon comes with Liz Wilson to fetch his car, he cannot recognize it at first glance. When he asks Sindri, what have they done to his car, he gets a reply that "it has become the vehicle of the proletariat" and is offered to have his life spared in exchange for his car. Jon and Liz leave the garage being laughed off by the proletarians and spammed with insults revolving around their nationality. Liz suggests to contact the Team Pussycat, so Jon might have his car back. They also meet the previous customer of the @$$ Monkey Garage, who is also willing to have revenge on the Moscovian fifth column.

The victims of the socialist car workshop contact Team Pussycat and describe, how have the Moscovians harmed them. The Pussycat twins and the rest of the Team Pussycat members are preparing a plan, how to stop the revolution in repairing cars.

It is late evening and the @$$ Monkey Garage crew is handling a Chevrolet Camaro Boris and Natasha found in a junkyard and bought for 20000 USD in counterfeit banknotes - the car has not been cleaned from rust diligently, instead, it got cardboard spoiler and Doltie's vodka engine fitted, making it look crudely. While Vova and Igor are arguing, where to paint Soviet stars on the car, Doltie fetches a new customer, who came with a van for a maintenance check-up. The van is left inside the garage for tomorrow since the workshop is closed for the night.

Shortly after the garage is closed, Delilah, Ian, and Kitty emerge from the van and head towards the bureau, where they find the money taken from the customers cheated by the leftist garage and orders from Moscow, instructing the proletarians to rob the people from the money. While securing that evidence, Delilah hears a noise coming from the opposite part of the garage. It turns out that Dolt-on-Istov woke up to have a midnight drink. Ian sneaks up behind Doltie and stuns him with a fist, then Delilah and Kitty help him in tieing Doltie up and take him as captive. Another van with Penelope, Mona and Stan await them outside the garage.

Dolt-on-Istov wakes up in a basement he has never seen before, being held by Stan and Ian, while their females with handguns are standing nearby, as well as the unhappy customers the leftist garage has recently served. The Pussycat Twins ask him questions about the workshop's activity, including the cheated customers present in the room. Doltie initially refuses to answer the questions he is given, though when Delilah threatens to smash a Rasputin Vodka bottle, Doltie breaks and shares the Vlondril's plan to drain money from the locals with a garage. The testimonies given by Doltie match the orders Ian, Kitty, and Delilah have found the previous night. Before the Team Pussycat goes to the second phase of their plan, Dolt-on-Istov is given the vodka bottle Delilah was threatening to smash and he empties it, only to fall asleep immediately. Kitty admits, that the sleeping poison prepared by Callista Briggs indeed works well against the Comintern members.

Meanwhile, the Proletarians have noticed that Dolt-on-Istov, money taken from the garage customers and orders from Moscow are missing. Sindri has trouble in locating those with her dark magic, which refuses to work abroad. Boris and Natasha are sent to search for the missing, with priority to secure the money and the orders, then to care about Doltie. The spies do their best, yet they cannot find any traces after Dimitri. Natasha spots a liquor store and she suggests that Doltie might be inside, so the spies head there, not being aware that they are observed from a car the garage workers have turned into a Mad-Max styled combat vehicle.

Inside the liquor store, the spies do not find Dolt-On-Istov. Instead, they are surrounded by the local Police officers backed up by Team Pussycat members aiming from M-16 rifles at them. The local junkyard owner identifies Boris and Natasha as those, who bought junk from him for counterfeit money. The spies are taken by the Police and Team Pussycat continues handling the @$$ Monkey Garage.

During a break in work, Paskudnikov spots a human female wearing a red hooded cape. It is Liz Wilson, taking part in Team Pussycat's plan to neutralize the proletarians gradually. When Vowa rushes towards Liz in disguise, she leads him directly to a pit prepared by Stan and Ian. having fallen into the trap, Paskudnikov gets knocked down by the Zaleski Brothers.

With only Igor left, Sindri is aware that the rest of her proletarians have been defeated. The trouble gets worse when Igor empties the last Rasputin Vodka bottle they had in stock and Sindri's decanter of infinite ethanol fails to work. While suffering from ethanol hunger, Igor spots a ZIL-130  fuel truck with Rasputin Vodka logo, handled by three similar-looking Persian cats dressed for a beach. Sindri does suspect a deception, but Igor refuses to listen and heads directly at the truck. Instead of being impressed at his appearance, the Persian cats point Colt M1911 pistols at him. As can be expected, those are The Bennett Triplets who are also Team Pussycat members. While keeping Igor in Crosshairs, Gwendolyn hurls him a bottle of Rasputin vodka to drink. Igor empties the bottle and falls asleep.

Enraged Sindri abandons the garage and gets struck by an incapacitating migraine outside the building. The migraine is caused by Ian holding a crucifix and Stan carrying a picture of Mary the Mother of God, who are accompanied by their females wielding firearms and a preacher, who performs exorcisms upon Sindri, which cause her being banished back to Hell. Shortly afterward, the Proletarians guarded by the Team Pussycat members are reversing the "modifications" they applied to the cheated customers' cars.

Back in Moscow, Vlondril opens a portal to the Hell and summons battered Sindri back to the mortal world. The Proletarians are exchanged for political prisoners from Russia. When they come back home, they notice Sindri suffering from the post-banishment disease.

Characters

The Comintern (the "@$$ Monkey Garage")

• Sindri Bisitsokoshkha - "The garage's owner"
• Dolt-on-Istov - "the master mechanic"
• Paskudnikov - auxiliary mechanic
• Igor Tolstyi - auxiliary mechanic
• Boris Badenov - market spy #1
• Natasha Fatale - market spy #2
• Vlondril Bisitsokoshkha - the supervisor

Team Pussycat

• Penelope Pussycat
• Mona Pussycat
• Stanisław Zaleski
• Ian Zaleski
• Delilah Pussycat
• Kitty diVono
• Callista Briggs (mentioned only)
• The Bennett Triplets

Neutral

• Jon Arbuckle
• Liz Wilson
• the garage customer
• The junkyard owner
• the preacher

Trivia

• This episode is a parody of "Fast 'N Loud" series from the Discovery channel and "The A-Team".
• The feline preacher looks exactly just like the one from Garfield and Friends' episode The Third Penelope Episode.