Cheeki Breeki Baseball ("One, two, baseball" in Russian) is the third episode from the third Season of The Pussycats.
The Comintern attempts to rip off one of the American sport disciplines and it winds up with a total mess.
The "Vanguards of the Communist Revolution" are watching American television channel about sports through an illegally obtained satellite signal. Their attention is focused on a baseball match transmitted from a stadium in Washington D.C., especially with the way the players strike balls with bats in their hand. Vlondril Bisitsokoshkha and Sindri Bisitsokoshkha agree that such sport would help their henchmen striking enemy projectile weapons back to their source - after the match, they send a petition to the top in Moscow with a request to accept their plan. The Vyerkhuskha ("top leader") willingly agrees so the training might begin.
At the Kaliningrad Stadium, the Proletarians do their best to repeat the sport seen on the enemy television channel. Due to their rather poor skills, the Moscovian socialists quickly run out of the balls and it turns out that the tennis ball stock has been depleted in the entire Kaliningrad region. Vlondril, who is responsible for the project, admits that she cannot wait 48 hours for resupplying through Lithuania, thus the trainees will strike other round objects due to the austerity policy she overruled.
Dolt-on-Istov does his best to strike a soccer ball hurled by Igor Tolstyi - doltie strikes it with a curved hockey stick and the ball hits Stalin's portrait in the wall and utterly crashes it into pieces. To avoid being sent to Gulag, Doltie bribes Sindri and Vlondril - the older Behemoth's daughter agrees to falsify the protocol for 10 souls, 20 Maybelline nail polish bottles and the latest issue of Bon Prix fashion catalog.
The training proves, that the wooden sticks used in lieu of baseball bats break while striking the ball, either because Igor throws the balls with too much power, or the sticks used by the Comintern are simply poor quality. Vlondril orders the proletarians to use lead pipes in lieu of wooden bats. Igor decides to strike balls with a crowbar, which causes weaker balls to break when struck.
Having depleted the soccer ball surplus, the proletarians replace them with hand grenade shells used for training. It turns out that the grenade shells are more difficult to strike and they tend to damage the stadium walls when hitting the wall, as well as they break through building and car windows when struck with too much power. Behemoth's daughters believe that they trained their henchmen so well, that they could take part in a real baseball match, thus they sign up for a tournament in New York.
Despite the protests of the Major League Baseball's conservative wing, Moscovian Proletarians are accepted for the All-American tournament. They barely win the first match and get outclassed by more experienced American teams. The experiment with imitating "American sports" turns out to be a failure, though the "Vanguards of the Communist Revolution" manage to establish a secret enclave in New York inside the local leftist society.
- Major League Baseball personnel
- baseball teams in the New York stadium
This episode was inspired by Beavis and Butt-head premiere episode Frog Baseball.